Cheers to being SELFISH!

You read that right. I propose a toast to being selfish. To putting ourselves first.

Now when I say "lets be selfish" I do not mean fuck everyone in your life......they all come second to King/Queen you. I mean maybe it is time to concern yourself more with what makes YOU happy.....and a little less with what makes everyone else happy.

I think we get so caught up with being the "nice guy". We worry about everyone else. Their reactions, their thoughts, their feelings. But what about ours? When do we start to spend a little more time thinking about our own happiness? I know it's super "selfish" to think that way......and as a society we have been trained to view being selfish as wrong or fucked up.......which to a certain extent I agree with. But...what is so wrong with putting ourselves first? Ahead of the opinions and thoughts of our family/friends. In front of our 'contractual obligations' as people.

This blog was brought about by a recent situation I have been STRESSING over in my own personal life. I have been driving myself crazy and slowly falling into a depression over it. I have spent so much time concerned with how the other party might react to my concerns and my dilemma. Pulling my hair out over whether I should say something or not. I actually reached the point where I convinced myself that I would rather stay unhappy than grow some fucking balls and have a conversation with that person about my feelings. About my struggle.

I had a chat with my younger sister (who is wise WELL BEYOND her years) about the situation earlier this week. I cried, venting to her about how stressed and overwhelmed I have become over the issue at hand. She just sat there and told me that I can't live in agony over my problem. By talking to her I realized that I might have been making this a larger issue in my head than it needed to be. She reminded my that it is OK to follow my dreams. It is OK to put myself first. No one is going to treat me differently because I have chosen to move my life in a different direction. There is nothing wrong with being selfish and putting my happiness first.

Think about it. If you are miserable, everyone and everything around you will be miserable as well. They say you can't truly love another person until you love yourself. That same rule applies for happiness. You can't radiate and spread happiness if you yourself aren't happy. Hence where being selfish comes into play. Without being selfish and allowing yourself the things/experiences your heart desires.........how can you provide anything to anyone? I mean honestly. An 8 cylinder engine is useless if only 2 of those cylinders are running properly.

So be selfish. Go ahead. Put yourself first. Put your dreams, wants, desires.......your happiness.....put it all first. You can't really bring much happiness to someones life if your happiness tank is on empty. I should know. I've been traveling on an empty tank for a while.

Oh and to answer your question....I finally grew some balls. I sat down with that person and had an entire conversation. The conversation went better than expected and I realized that I had actually been making a bigger issue of it than necessary (yes Kathy.....you were right). Clearly I need to add not making issues larger than necessary in my mind to my list of things to work on......in addition to being a little more selfish. No one can sacrifice their own happiness because they are too worried about what someone else may or may not think.

Make sure your happiness tank is full. Check and make sure all your cylinders are running properly. Put your happiness first. Take care of you. Don't spend so much time concerned with everyone else. We are all on our own path, doing our own thing. We each arrive to our destinations when OUR time is right. So be selfish. I don't think being selfish is as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary" - Mandy Hale