Sunday, April 27, 2025

The Long-Winded One

Life update:

I need therapy. For sure 💯


I am just so in need of being in control of everything that I am literally driving myself crazy. 


🗣️ ALEXA : play “Anxiety” by Doechii 😵‍💫


It’s hard for me because people are just that. People. We have our own way of thinking and feeling. My way isn’t wrong. And neither is yours. We are just different. We need different things to fill our tank. We need to RESPECT one another, give each other grace (we ALL have some shit going on….whether we are dealing with it or not), learn how to communicate/LISTEN. The listening part is so important.


Just be in the moment. We are literally on borrowed time…..whether we accept it or not.


If I’ve learned one thing, life is too fucking short. We just need to live more and give the rest up to God. 


I need to remind myself when times get hard, or I’m in my ‘Marvin’s Room’ Drake feels (IYKYK)…..that I’m on borrowed time. And so are you. 


But that’s a podcast or a blog entry for another day.


I guess I’ve been in fight or flight since 2006. I don’t know how to be the passenger princess 🤷🏻‍♀️😂


Like I posted last week. I am my own anxiety.


*I see it.

*I am openly addressing it.

*I’m using this energy to get organized.

*I’m taking you on the journey.


To make a long story short….I’m giving myself anxiety and I want to be less stressed. And maybe you do too?


I want to find non-medicated, natural methods for dealing with letting go of control and anxiety. And better sleep. And I think therapy would also be super helpful for me. And maybe yoga? Or some sort of daily movement? I just need some self care right now……I think a lot of us do actually.


So yeah. Accountability check in:


Stop smoking. Stop eating carbs and dairy because my inflammation is out of control. Just cleaner eating and living. Be happy. Start the morning with meditation and gratitude. Take a 30 minute walk during the day every single day. Be present. Be thankful to God for another day in our very own oasis we have built.


I have a whole theory about our souls, Dejavu, energy, our many lifetimes…..but again. Another day, another post.


I’ve just been so afraid to give up control that even admitting my OCD is back and I’m cycling in some mini-mania right now is hard for me to admit….but it’s happening and I just need more self-care and less hispanic panic (IYKYK 🤣).


All I know is I’ve gotta chill….or as my friend Yanira says “RELAX bitch” hahahha 


If I could ask just one thing….go listen to Soja “Everything Changes”:


https://youtu.be/4IshazvspKI?si=G58gl8TFEP3VBPCj


These lyrics are so powerful:


Maybe we need more shoes on our feet. Maybe we need more clothes and tvs. Maybe we need more cash and jewelry.


Or maybe we don't know what we need.


Maybe we need to want to fix this. Maybe stop talking, maybe start listening.


Maybe we need to look at this world

Less like a square and more like a circle.


Maybe just maybe God's not unfair. Maybe we're all his kids and he's up there. Maybe he loves us for all our races. 


Maybe he hates us when we're all so racist.


Maybe he sees us, when we don't care. And it's heaven right here but it's hell over there. And maybe the meek will inherit this earth 'Cause it was written before so…


Everything changes…and nothing stays the same”


So yeah. I’m doing big shit now. My mom always says:


“What’s the worst that could happen? They say no? So you end up right where you started.”


But what if they said yes? Sheesh. 


Imagine.


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